Tatiana Ashborn
Published November 22, 2025 2:00pm
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I was grateful to be able to learn from my grandmothers wisdom (Picture: Tatiana Ashborn)
‘Have you ever been to Ann Summers?’
That’s a question I asked my 80 year old Grandma when she came on my podcast in August 2022.
At most I thought she’d tell me about a pair of pants she’d once purchased. Instead of we’d discuss lingerie.
Though I immediately burst out laughing – more to do with the shock at her frankness than anything – I was so proud of her honesty.
Most people wouldn’t dream of asking their grandma about sex, but not me. I openly discussed how orgasms have changed for her over the years, and the curious case of a banana in the bedroom with her. And it’s been one of the most important conversations of my life.
While sex and relationships were never treated as a big secret in my family when I was growing up, the topic was still considered taboo. The only problem was, I had questions, lots of them.
I understood the basics, but I also felt the sex education I received at school missed out on core factors like pleasure and reproductive conditions.
I thought that sex education was missing key aspects and I wanted to know more (Picture: Tatiana Ashborn)
So, by my late teens – when relationships and intimacy were very much on my mind – and with no personal experience to draw on at the time, I started interviewing like-minded and older couples about their experiences to learn how to navigate potential relationships of my own.
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I ended up with so many stories of people watching porn with friends, their disastrous first times, and awkward encounters with strangers that it inspired me to write a play: Dirty Talk, which followed a variety of characters as they lost their virginities.
When the pandemic stopped the show from going on though, I decided to start a podcast: ‘Under The Sheets with Tatiana Ashborn and Friends’.
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Due to the lockdown, I was reliant on interviewing those within my household, meaning I asked my five older brothers about how they lost their virginity, the difference in their sex education compared to mine, and debated whether a vulva can smell.
The one thing I was conscious of though was that, as we were all of the same generation, our experiences wouldn’t be universal. That’s when I had the idea to interview my Grandma.
Society tends to assume that sex and intimacy is something that fades away after a certain age, and that it’s awkward or even inappropriate to talk about such subjects with your grandparents. But the truth is, they lived entire lives before becoming ‘grandma and grandad’.
They had first crushes, heartbreak, romance, and yes, sex. And it struck me that if I didn’t ask, I might miss the chance to learn from all of my Grandma’s experiences and wisdom.
There is no one I admire more than my Grandma G. She’s warm, funny, wise, a little bit mad and has always made me feel completely at ease. So I could think of no one better to interview.
I was so proud of her honesty (Picture: Tatiana Ashborn)
I intended to keep the interview PG at first – mainly at my mum’s request as my Grandma was apparently very nervous to come on my show – so we covered the fact that she never really got a sex education outside of biology classes, and her love story with my Grandpa (how they fell in love when she was 18 and married at 21 which was the norm for that time).
But we soon covered slightly more risqué topics like what her thoughts were on shaving and waxing pubic hair or what her first time was like on their wedding night.
For the record, Grandma thinks a trimmed bush is best and wishes she’d had sex sooner as it would have ‘taken the pressure off’.
However, once the audience questions started rolling in, the conversation became even more open, honest, and candid. Cue her Ann Summers confession.
Apparently, a trim bush is ideal (Picture: Tatiana Ashborn)
Emboldened, I then asked her what else she’d tried in the bedroom. She announced, in a fit of giggles, that a ‘banana’ came to mind.
‘I hope it’s not still in your fruitbowl!’ I said.
From there, the conversation turned to the time she and my grandpa got caught having sex all thanks to a creaky bed, and about the time a man (who was not my Grandpa) gave her an orgasm.
While she and this mystery man never had sex, she admitted she ‘didn’t know what Grandpa was doing at the time’.
Amidst my shock and laughter I didn’t think to press her for any more details. But Grandma quite rightly pointed out that she too was allowed ‘to have fun in those days’ and that, despite her upbringing, it didn’t make her ‘prudish’.
At the end of the episode she admitted she has no idea where that dildo is, so I won’t be rummaging through her drawers anytime soon. But I did leave our conversation feeling closer to her than ever.
I wasn’t expecting our conversation to turn to bananas (Picture: Tatiana Ashborn)
I appreciate that opening up about these subjects publicly can be daunting, but they can also bring us closer, bridge generations, and help us understand not only the people we love, but also ourselves. It’s why I believe more families should have these kinds of conversations about sex, intimacy and relationships with loved ones.
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In my case, it gave me the chance to see my grandparents’ relationship in a deeper, richer light because at the core of all of it was their love story.
Hearing her speak about their relationship reminded me that sex isn’t about age, it’s about connection – something we never outgrow – and that sex and intimacy are woven deeply into love and friendship, they’re not two separate things.
Shortly after we recorded the conversation, my grandad sadly passed away. That timing has made the episode with my gran even more precious to me. Like I was given a window into their relationship just in time.
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They were best friends above everything else and it gave me a vision of the kind of relationship, and sex life, I hope to have one day.
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