By Daniella GrayShareNewsweek is a Trust Project memberA Gen Z woman who supports her entire family has been backed online after revealing that her mother insists she doesn’t “need privacy” while she works.
In a post on the Am I the A****** (AITA) subreddit, u/MIINTEU described how she works from home in what she calls her “dream job,” one that’s sustained her household for years.
The 25-year-old pays all the bills, occasionally buys groceries and lives with her mom, 59, her older brother, 44 and sister-in-law—none of whom hold jobs outside the home.
...Her mother has been a housewife all her life, her brother handles occasional labor around the house and her sister-in-law cares for the couple’s young daughter.
The OP (original poster) explained that her bedroom doubles as her office, a space she depends on for the quiet required to focus for eight uninterrupted hours.
But despite knowing this, her mother “just barges into my room to talk, gossip, do chores, etc.,” she wrote, adding that she suspects she may have ADHD and is awaiting diagnosis.
A breakthrough came during her niece’s birthday party, when the noise in the house forced her to lock her door, put on headphones and work without interruption—for the first time in a long while.
The experience inspired her to create a “Do Not Disturb” sign that reads, “Do not disturb, please contact me in Messenger,” allowing her family to reach her when necessary without disrupting her workflow.
That small step toward boundaries detonated into household tension. During a temporary power outage caused by electrical work, the OP took a nap and awoke to a message from her mother asking to be reimbursed for the wiring repairs.
When she stepped out to ask whether her mother needed the money immediately, she was met with what she described as a startlingly “rude” response.
Moments later, back in her room, she overheard her mother loudly complaining about her locked door and insisting she didn’t need privacy.
“I have nothing but a good daughter for the family,” the OP wrote. “I pay the bills monthly without any help from the family members, they still went ahead to gossip about me. I didn't listened further because I am honestly hurt.”
At the time of writing, the post has received over 4,000 upvotes and hundreds of commenters who weighed in with their advice.
“There are three adults taking advantage of your generosity yet can’t be bothered to respect your time,” one top commenter wrote. “All three of them should have jobs to pay their own way in life. It certainly isn’t your responsibility to make their lives easy while you work hard."
The OP responded that, despite being the youngest in the home, she’s “the most competent” and the only one with formal work or education experience.
Her mother is “traditional conservative” and has never had a job, her brother doesn’t work outside the home but fixes things around the house, and her sister-in-law manages childcare. “Since I’m the one with the job, the financial responsibility falls onto me.”
Many users urged her to leave. “If you can finance a whole household with four adults, you can afford yourself a small apartment,” wrote one commenter. Another added that the family had "brainwashed" her into believing she was responsible for supporting them solely because she is the successful one.
“You're literally bankrolling them and they still don't respect you,” one user said. “Start saving. You'll have a much nicer life when you're only paying for yourself.”
The internet agreed that is firmly in agreement that a locked door—and a little privacy—is not too much to ask and declared the OP not the a******.
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